Joke for today

Reaching the end of a jobinterview, the human resources person asked a young engineer fresh out of MIT what kind of a salary he was looking for. `Inthe neighborhood of $140,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.` `Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, fullmedical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company carleased every 2 years...say, a red Corvette?` `Wow! Are you kidding?` `Yeah, but you started it.`

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Joke for 2025-09-16

`I have good news and bad news,` the defense lawyer says to his client.`What`s the bad news?` The lawyer says, `Your blood matches the DNA found at the murder scene.` `Dammit!` cries the client. `What`s the good news?` `Well,` the lawyer says, `Your cholesterol is down to 140.`

Joke for 2025-09-15

How do amoebas keep in touch?With cell phones.

Joke for 2025-09-14

After dying a grisly death in an Afghan cave, Osama made his way to the pearly gates. There, he was greeted by George Washington.`How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!` yelled Washington, slapping Osama in the face. Patrick Henry came up from behind. `You wanted to end America`s liberty, so they gave you death!` Henry punched Osama in the nose. James Madison came next, and said, `This is why I allowed the government provide for the common defense!` He took a sledge hammer and whacked Osama`s knees. Osama was subjected to similar beatings from John Randolph, James Monroe, and 65 other people who had the same love for liberty and America. As he writhed on the ground, Thomas Jefferson hurled him back toward the gate where he was to be judged. As Osama awaited his journey to his final very hot destination, he screamed, `This is not what I was promised!` An angel replied, `I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you. What did you think I said?`