Joke for today

A magazine reporter is traveling through a rainforest, in search of a fabled cannibalistic tribe. He falls into a trap, goes unconscious and wakes up tied to a stake with a fire burning slowly underneath him. He cries out for help, and is answered by what is obviously one of the tribesmen, who informs him that he is going to be served as dinner to the leader of the tribe. `But you don`t understand!` he cries, `You can`t do this to me! I`m an editor for the New Yorker magazine!` `Ah,` replies the tribesman, `Well now you are editor-in-chief!`

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Joke for 2018-08-17

A Catholic, a Baptist, and a Mormon are bragging about the size of their families.`I have four boys and my wife is expecting another. One more son and I````ll have a basketball team!` said the Catholic.`That````s nothing!```````` said the Baptist. ````````I have ten boys now, and my wife is pregnant with another child. One more son and I````ll have a football team!``You both should be ashamed of yourselves!```````` said the Mormon. ````````I have seventeen wives. One more and I````ll have a golf course!`

Joke for 2018-08-16

One day, Little Johnny`s class was reviewing the alphabet. His teacher knew that he had an ``advanced`` vocabulary for his age, so she was trying to avoid calling on him. When the teacher asked for a word beginning with `A`, Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher knew he would say `ass` so she called on Mary Lou, who said ``apple`. This continued through most of the alphabet, because his teacher knew that there was a cuss word that Johnny would say for every letter of the alphabet. Then she got to ``R``. She thought for a moment, but couldn`t think of any cuss words that began with R, so she called on Johnny. ``R is for rats - big FUCKING rats, with twelve-inch cocks!``

Joke for 2018-08-15

Understanding MarketingYou see a fabulous girl/guy at a party. You approach them and say, `I`m fantastic in bed.`That`s Direct Marketing. You`re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a fabulous girl/guy. You have one of your friends approach them, point at you and say, `She`s/He`s fantastic in bed.`That`s Advertising. You see a fabulous girl/guy at a party. You approach them to get their telephone number. The next day you call and say, `Hi, I`m fantastic in bed.`That`s Telemarketing. You`re at a party and see a fabulous girl/guy. You get up, straighten your clothes, walk up and pour them a drink. You open the door, pick up their bag after it drops, offer them a ride, and then say, `By the way, I`m fantastic in bed.`That`s Public Relations. You`re at a party and see a fabulous girl/guy. They walk up to you and say, `I hear you`re fantastic in bed.`That`s Brand Recognition.