Joke for today

Pamela Anderson and the Queen of England die on the same day. As they are approaching the gates of heaven, God tells them that there is only ONE spot left.Knowing this, Pamela decides to seduce God by showing her bare breasts. God looks at them and says, `Very nice.``Does that mean I``m in?` says Pamela. God looks over to his side and sees the Queen of England douching in the corner.He looks back at Pamela and says, `Sorry, a royal flush always beats a pair.`

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Joke for 2025-07-07

An elephant was walking through the jungle one day when it suddenly stepped on a thorn, wedging it between its toes. Being in too much pain to continue, the elephant lay down and began to cry. Shortly after, an ant came across the elephant and asked why she was crying. `I have a thorn in my foot and it`s too painful to walk,` cried the elephant. The ant thought a minute and offered a deal: `I`ll pull the thorn from your foot, if you let me have my way with you.` `Okay, I`ll do anything,` whined the elephant. `Just get the damn thorn out!` The ant pulled the thorn out, then mounted the elephant and began to hump away. Two monkeys in a nearby tree witnessed the whole thing and were laughing their asses off. They started throwing coconuts at the elephant, and finally one hit her square in the head. The elephant yelled, `YEOUCH!` The ant said, `Yeah, that`s riiight, take it all bitch!`

Joke for 2025-07-06

You might be a redneck if you have ever vacationed in a highway rest area.

Joke for 2025-07-05

A Jewish student was doing well in school in all subjects except for Math. So his parents decide to send him to a private Catholic school. While there the boy came home from school and studied every day. At the end of the marking period the boy got straight A`s. So his parents asked him, `What motivated you to do so well in school?` He replied, `When I saw that guy nailed to a plus sign I knew they weren`t fooling around!`