Joke for today

Two hicks from West Virginia got married and were having their honeymoon in a local motel. They begin doing what honeymooners always do, but right before they consummate the marriage the woman says, `Be gentle, I`m a virgin.`

The man is shocked and visibly upset and storms out of the room without saying a word. He goes home to his family and tells them what happened, and his dad agrees, `If she isn`t good enough for her own family, she sure as hell isn`t good enough for you!`

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Joke for 2019-03-24

Q: What do a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce have in common?

A: Someone is going to lose a trailer.

Joke for 2019-03-23

A man got pulled over by a cop because he was weaving in and out of the lanes. The cop got out of his car and asked the driver to blow in a breath-analyzer tube to check his alcohol level.
`Oh, no,` the driver said. `I can`t do that. If I do that, I`ll have an asthma attack and die.`
`OK,` said the officer, `let`s go down to the station and you can pee in a cup to check your alcohol level.`
`Oh, no, I can`t do that. I`m a diabetic and if I pee my blood sugar level will go down so low that I might die.`
`Fine then. Let`s go to the station and take a blood test to check your alcohol level.`
`Oh, no, I can`t do that. I`m a hemophiliac and I`ll never stop bleeding if you draw my blood.
`All right then, just step outside your car and walk this white line for me.`
`Oh, no, I can`t do that.`
`Why not?`
`Because I`m drunk.`

Joke for 2019-03-22

The priest and the rabbi were on a plane flying across the ocean when the plane developed engine trouble. Everyone was doomed. The priest turned to the rabbi and said, `Before I die there`s something that I would like to know. You being Jewish and all -- have you ever tasted ham?`

`Well,` the rabbi laughed, `sure I`ve tasted ham. But tell me father, before we die -- could you tell me if you have ever made love to a woman?`

The priest blushed and said, `There was this one time I gave in and made love to a woman.`

The rabbi looked at the priest and said, `Beats the hell out of ham, don`t it?`