Joke for today

What is the difference between a boy and a girl?

A boy is eight times more likely to be convicted of murder.

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Joke for 2019-01-18

A man reluctantly attends his laywer`s funeral expecting to be one of the one people there, and is suprised to see a huge turnout for this one terrible man. He turns to the people around him.

"Why are you all at this lawyer`s funeral?" he asks.

A man turns towards him and says, "We`re all clients."

"And you ALL came to pay your respects?"

"No, we came to make sure he was really dead."

Joke for 2019-01-17

Yo Mama`s so Web 2.0, she makes you call her Mothr!

Joke for 2019-01-16

A drunk is driving through the city and his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over and asks, "Where have you been?"

"I`ve been to the pub," slurs the drunk.

"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you`ve had quite a few."

"I did alright," the drunk says with a smile.

"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"

"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I`d gone deaf."